Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
