she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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