i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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