i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
