I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't turn off my feet"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
