Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He kissed a someone with a penis
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
