I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize