U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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