I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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