What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
