They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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