so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
as a side note pls kill me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
