Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
