So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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