Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
