that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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