True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He did a backflip because drugs
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