If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
