Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
