spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
