your room smells of hookers.
And success
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize