oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
