My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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