When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
