Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
