Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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