at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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