Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
