So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
