I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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