no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
