I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
