Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
