New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
pop tarts are not kleenex
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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