She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He better not be in your backpack
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
