yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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