So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
