My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
