You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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