hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
