the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
