when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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