I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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