we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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