Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
