i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
