He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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