We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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