No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
