I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
