She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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