Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
