can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
