Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize