she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
