He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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