My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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